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Babies, Bills, and the Bedroom: The Hidden Cost of Medically Assisted Reproduction
In Disney’s film Up, you learn about Carl and Ellie—a young couple filled with aspirations and adventurous spirits. Shortly after getting married, they purchased a fixer-upper house because it was likely all they could afford as a newlywed couple. To save money, Carl and Ellie sawed, nailed, and polished their house until it felt more like a home. After some planning, they prepared for an addition to their home: Carl and Ellie delicately hung toy blimps over a crib and trimmed the back wall with a hand-painted stork. The next time you see this overjoyed couple, however, they’re in a dark hallway under the ominous glow of a pale-lit doctor’s office. Ellie has her face buried in her palms—they can’t have children. She isn’t alone, though; about one-tenth of all couples struggle with infertility.[1]
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When Finances Get Tight, Do Couples Reach Out Right?
Money is the last thing I want to talk about with my friends and family. Money is sensitive, personal, and a bit taboo. However, it is a vital resource to get the things we want and need in life! Seeking advice can be considered an important resource as well!1 Dr. Melissa Curran and her colleagues dove deeper into the idea of resources, specifically with consideration to seeking advice from family and friends.
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The Hidden Burden: Student Loan Debt in Later Life
Writing gives us the freedom to share our perspective, and perhaps through mine, you will reflect on yours.
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Leisure and Finances in Relationships: Does Playtime Decrease the Relational Impact of Financial Stress?
While play is an essential aspect of child development,1 it is also crucial in adulthood in non-work activities that offer relaxation, engagement, and...connection.2 Play, or leisure, is beneficial in strengthening emotional connections, reducing tensions, and promoting positive interactions within a romantic relationship.3 Furthermore, shared leisure time promotes intimacy.3 After a long workday, a couple could benefit by walking, learning a hobby, or playing a game together. Just as it is important for parents to foster a loving and open environment for children to de-stress and find freedom in play, couples benefit from prioritizing their playtime and constructing within their lives an adult playpen of sorts, a space where they can emotionally reconnect, physically rejuvenate, and mentally unwind.4
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Spicing Up Your Financial Discussions
Ratatouille. Have you ever tasted it? Perhaps you’ve heard of it. This humble dish dates back to the 1700s in the Southeastern region of France—Provence, specifically. Ratatouille was born out of necessity as the farmers could not let anything go to waste. Onions and tomatoes are sautéed in a pot with a drizzle of olive oil, joined by fresh chopped bell peppers, zucchini, eggplant—or any other vegetable one can scour. Once the veggies have danced around for a bit, everything in the pot is stewed together with a bundle of dried herbs to make a delicious, hearty dish. When making Ratatouille, timing and quality ingredients are vital.
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Confident in Our Finances, Stronger in Our Love
What does money represent to you? Money to me is our time, effort, work, freedom, security, comfort, and even growth. We usually give meaning and value to money by what it represents to us. Now, would you trust your money to any person? What about your partner? Do you have enough confidence in how your partner manages money? Confidence is important when making decisions, but did you know that feeling confident about money is also good for your relationship?
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Financially Ever After: Power Dynamics in Newlywed Life
Picture a newlywed couple, hand in hand, walking into their first home together. Beneath their smiles lies a hidden challenge: balancing their roles and responsibilities as they build both their relationship and their financial future. In the recent article, On the Same Page? Newlyweds’ Agreement About Shared Power Predicting Financial Management Behaviors Through Marital Commitment[1], distinguished scholars suggest that the way a couple navigates their marriage might also predict how they navigate their finances. Many assume that financial behaviors (e.g., paying your bills on time, or saving money from every paycheck) are a central driving force for romantic relationship outcomes.[2] However, research suggests that the ability of couples to maintain balance and commitment may also shape newlywed relationships, with financial behaviors serving as an outcome of these dynamics.
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Perpetual or Solvable? Redefining Relationship Conflicts
Differences in a relationship don’t always have to be harmful; in fact, at times they may actually be a strengthing factor. The unique qualities each partner brings—whether in opinions, perspectives, or choices—can create opportunities to grow together. As couples learn about their differences, they have the opportunity to discover what makes their partner special and valuable within the relationship.
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Love and Luxury: The Connection Between Financial Perceptions, Materialism, and Marital Satisfaction
Our perception of situations often influences how we respond to them. In the article Materialism, Perceived Financial Problems, and Marital Satisfaction, Dr. Luke Dean and colleagues examined how marital satisfaction was influenced by couples’ perceptions of financial issues (e.g., job insecurity, debt, differing priorities, and spending habits), emphasizing how materialism frequently fuels conflicts related to these challenges. They found that couples with strong materialistic values tend to see financial issues as more frequent, even when the intensity of the issues did not differ greatly from those faced by less materialistic couples.[1] The lower frequency of financial issues reported by less materialistic couples likely stems from their prioritization of the relationship over finances. When marriage is highly valued, financial issues are less likely to disrupt marital happiness; however, couples who highly value money and possessions might suffer in their marriage.[2] This begs the question, what do you choose to prioritize, and how do your choices influence your relationship?
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Debt and “I Do”: A Newlywed’s Nightmare
The golden glow of the setting sun warms the vibrant petals of lilies and roses of a wedding arbor, under which a couple exchanges heartfelt vows. As they gaze into each other's eyes, they ponder the most romantic thought, “How will we manage our finances together?” They both have full-time jobs, with a shared annual salary of $80,000, but like the average American household, they are likely to be $16,000—or about 20% of their annual income—in debt.[1]
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Balancing Sleep, Money, and Sex in Marriage
Although newlyweds are often optimistic about their future, their marriages may still face unique challenges.[1] For example, couples must navigate careers,3 family decisions,[2] finances,[3] and much more. So, what makes a marriage truly happy? In a recent study,[4] Matthew Saxey and his team examined how sleep, finances, and sex are related to marital happiness. What they discovered was eye-opening: these elements combine in unique ways to shape marital satisfaction, leading to four distinct relationship profiles—“Flounderers,” “Drowsy Budgeters,” “Financially Challenged Lovers,” and “Flourishers.” The four profiles revealed how these elements interact to shape couples’ relationships:
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A Comfortable Home During the Recession: A Price to Pay for Relationship Quality?
Serenity glanced over her shoulder as her significant other dragged himself into the kitchen after a long day at work. His face looked tired and emotionless, and she could tell something was wrong. When Serenity gently inquired about his change in demeaner, he hesitated and then revealed the truth—he had lost his job. The job that had supported their comfortable and beautiful lives was gone. Moreover, what they thought was a small bump in the road was about to turn into a mountain of debt and financial struggle. They were about to face the full force of the Great Recession of 2007-2009.[1]
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Sex during Pregnancy
In a recent study,[1] Dr. David Allsop and colleagues investigated factors influencing sexual satisfaction among couples during pregnancy, such as physiological (e.g., physical discomfort,[2] hormonal changes, sleep quality), psychological (e.g., anxiety, depressive symptoms, self-esteem), and social (e.g., relationship quality, support from friends and family, societal expectations) factors. Merely focusing on physiological factors is not enough to fully grasp or address the complexity of the issue. In fact, Allsop’s study revealed the complex and multifaceted nature of sexual satisfaction during pregnancy, emphasizing the importance of considering emotional and relational dynamics between spouses. By addressing a diverse range of influences, we can better support couples in experiencing enriching sexual relationships as they navigate through this transformative phase of life!
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Strengthening Your Marriage Amidst Financial Difficulties
In a groundbreaking study, Dr. Brandan Wheeler and his team[1] investigate the interplay between financial distress, relational aggression, and marital quality among married couples in the U.S. after the 2009 Recession. Their findings reveal that relationally aggressive behaviors such as spreading rumors about a partner and withdrawing affection partially explained the impact of financial problems on the couple relationship post-recession. In other words, when some couples are financially stressed they treat each other worse, which then harms their marriage. This discovery underscores the detrimental effects of using harmful conflict tactics (like verbal attacks, silent treatment, and blame-shifting) during economic hardship and, on the other hand, the importance of mutual support and understanding between partners during times of financial strain.
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Let’s Talk…How to Communicate About Finances in Marriage
Married life can be a rollercoaster with ups, downs, and unexpected turns along the way. While couples might hope their finances stay stable throughout their marriage, history is full of examples of big, unexpected financial challenges for families across the United States. Instances include the Great Depression in the 1930’s, the Great Recession in 2008, and most recently the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Other unexpected changes or disturbances happen to individual families such as the loss of a job, increases in living expenses, or the addition of a new child. The financial wellness of a couple—the level of stress or satisfaction in their financial situation—can be affected with each twist and turn of life.
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The Other Golden Rule: Developing Shared Financial Power in Marriage
Gold is the money of kings;[i] he who has the gold makes the rules.[ii] These famous sayings highlight the enduring link between wealth, power, and authority in our society. We only need to glance at the business world, politics, or Hollywood to see the influence money can have in pushing certain agendas and creating change in public spheres. But what about money’s influence in the private sector of our home lives? Does money influence family or couple dynamics, and if so, how? Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black and colleagues sought to answer these questions through two research articles exploring the associations between couple finances, relational power, and marital satisfaction and stability.[iii],[iv]
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Mastering Money Promotes Relationship Happiness
About half of emerging adults in the U.S. live with their parents,[1] which highlights the financial challenges they face, such as student loan debt, low income, and high living costs. These challenges significantly impact their financial situations and lifestyles. Notably, financial issues play a crucial role in the success of romantic relationships among emerging adults.
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Thriving Together: Mastering Communication to Conquer Financial Stress in Your Marriage
Money troubles can make or break a marriage, and in fact, financial conflict is the number one predictor of divorce—more than any other type of disagreement.[1] Therefore, understanding how couples manage and navigate through financial challenges is especially important. In a compelling study[2] led by Dr. Heather Kelley and her team, they explored the relationship between financial stress and marital quality. The study found that financial stress negatively impacts marital satisfaction. When couples experience certain life events such as marriage, unemployment, or childbirth, they are more prone to financial stress. However, effective communication and maintaining a positive attitude can help mitigate the negative effects financial stress has on marital quality, and can help couples strengthen their relationship.
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