In Disney’s film Up, you learn about Carl and Ellie—a young couple filled with aspirations and adventurous spirits. Shortly after getting married, they purchased a fixer-upper house because it was likely all they could afford as a newlywed couple. To save money, Carl and Ellie sawed, nailed, and polished their house until it felt more like a home. After some planning, they prepared for an addition to their home: Carl and Ellie delicately hung toy blimps over a crib and trimmed the back wall with a hand-painted stork. The next time you see this overjoyed couple, however, they’re in a dark hallway under the ominous glow of a pale-lit doctor’s office. Ellie has her face buried in her palms—they can’t have children. She isn’t alone, though; about one-tenth of all couples struggle with infertility.[1]
Because infertility is a challenge that many couples face, a specific solution was developed: in-vitro fertilization (IVF).[2] IVF is one of the most common forms of medically assisted reproduction. There’s one problem, though: IVF costs a fortune, and prices have almost doubled over the past decade.[3] Right now, the average cost for IVF in the US is about $12,400 for one cycle, excluding the costs of medication and testing. It may cost up to $30,000 for a single IVF cycle.[4] Pre-IVF drugs, anesthesia, and ultrasounds to track egg transfers can all contribute to the cost.4 Moreover, two-thirds of IVF patients report paying $15,000 without reimbursement from insurance.5 It’s no wonder that 50% of people who decide to use medically assisted reproduction—such as IVF—felt like they were struggling financially.[5]
There is one hidden cost of fertility treatment: financial strain’s toll on sexual relationships. Most couples who are in a tough financial situation don’t have sex as often.5 It’s possible that these couples prioritize paying bills over sexual intimacy. Many couples who were experiencing financial stress weren’t as satisfied with their sex either, which could explain why they had less sex.
It’s almost impossible to have good sex when you’re stressed. If you’re worried about paying the bills or the nightmare of debt[6] during an intimate moment, you’re probably not going to be as sexually “in tune” as you usually are.5, [7] Another reason that couples don’t enjoy sex as much during reproductive treatment is because they might feel obligated to have sex to reach fertility, making sex feel more like a chore.5 This could explain why many couples under reproductive treatment felt sad or distressed during sex.5 Overall, financial strain doesn’t just hurt how often a couple is sexually intimate, but it can make sex less enjoyable as well.
Takeaways
Financial strain can make sexual intimacy less enjoyable.5 Here are some suggestions to help you finance medically assisted reproduction, such as IVF, to help you find fulfillment in your sexual relationship again.
1. Look for legal reimbursement. Check your state and insurance policies. Some states require insurance companies to reimburse reproductive medical expenses. Click here to see if you might be eligible to receive financial aid based on where you live. You may also be able to deduct IVF costs from your taxes if financing it costs more than 7.5% of your adjusted gross annual income.4
2. Be a thorough shopper. Because most medication for IVF is owned privately, specific name brands sometimes offer deals and promotions, especially if you make an agreement to buy their supplies in bulk.3, 4 You may find it helpful to compare prices of different institutions (GoodRx can have some great deals too). Additionally, if you haven’t tried IVF yet but are considering paying for it, using the CDC’s IVF success calculator may help you understand how likely you are to get pregnant.
3. Seek help from others. Sometimes, you can receive grants for IVF. Though your chances of receiving the grant are often increased if you or your partner is a veteran or has been a past cancer patient, you may still be eligible.4 Another powerful option to consider is being funded by multiple friends and loved ones, which can be done through platforms like GoFundMe.
References:
[1] National Institutes of Health. (2018). How common is infertility? https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/infertility/conditioninfo/common
[2] UCSF Health. (n.d.). In vitro fertilization (IVF). UCSF Health. https://www.ucsfhealth.org/treatments/in-vitro-fertilization
[3] Marsh, T., & van Meijgaard, J. (2024). In vitro fertilization (IVF) medication prices rose by 84% over the past 10 years. GoodRx. https://www.goodrx.com/healthcare-access/research/ivf-in-vitro-fertilization-medications-cost-increase
[4] Aime, M. (2024). IVF is expensive. Here are 20 ways to afford treatment. GoodRx. https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/fertility/how-to-afford-ivf
[5] Allsop D.B., Péloquin K., Saxey M.T., Rossi M.A. & Rosen N.O. (2023). Perceived financial burden is indirectly linked to sexual well-being via quality of life among couples seeking medically assisted reproduction. Frontiers in Psychology. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1063268
[6] Edgson, B. (2025). Debt and 'I do': A newlywed’s nightmare. LeBaron-Black. https://lebaron-black.byu.edu/debt-and-i-do-a-newlyweds-nightmare
[7] Hawkins, A., Sargent, K., & Gilliland, T. (n.d.). Anxiously engaged online facilitator guide 4.0. Anxiously Engaged. https://anxiouslyengaged.byu.edu/0000018a-3ca0-d6fc-adfa-fde146ff0001/ae-online-facilitator-guide-4-0-pdf