Couples

The newlywed period is a critical transition for couples.[1] Nearly all newlyweds face financial stress, which can affect many aspects of marriage, including marital satisfaction[2] and sexual satisfaction.[3],[4] When couples experience disagreements or challenges around money, they are also more likely to encounter conflicts in their sexual relationship[5] because financial stress can create tension, reduce emotional intimacy, and make it harder for partners to feel connected or relaxed with each other.

Money may not buy love, but it can definitely shape the balance of power in a relationship. For generations, men have been seen as the providers—the ones who bring home the paycheck and, in turn, hold decision-making power. What happens when that script flips and she earns more? Does power in marriage shift with income, or do old gender roles still quietly steer the relationship?

Imagine sitting at the dinner table with your spouse. It is common to discuss different aspects of your day such as people in your social circle or perhaps your job. However, even couples who communicate well about everyday events often have a hard time talking about sex and money, which are important aspects of a relationship. In a new social science theoretical model, it has been proposed that money and sex are both taboo topics that are often regarded as crude, unrefined, low, or even dirty.[i] Probably not considered appropriate dinner-time conversation material.

Ever wonder why some couples can calmly discuss finances while others spiral into arguments over spending? Money disagreements are one of the top stressors for romantic relationships, but the fights are often less about dollars and cents than they are about fairness, responsibility, and the values each partner brings to the table. Imagine a couple sitting down to pay bills, and one partner notices the other spent $200 on new headphones without mentioning it. The argument that follows isn’t really about the headphones—it’s about trust, responsibility, and whether money is being handled fairly. So, what is the difference between couples? In their 2023 study, Peetz, Meloff, and Royle explored exactly this, looking at what couples fight about when money is involved, which disagreements affect satisfaction, and which ones tend to cause the most stress.¹ They analyzed hundreds of financial conflict descriptions from reddit posts and recollections from married couples to uncover what couples actually fight about, which disagreements connect to relationship satisfaction, and which types of money conflicts are most harmful. In this article, I’ll explain what they found, why it matters, and how understanding these patterns can help couples approach money conversations with more empathy and less stress.

Many couples face issues with credit card debt, installment loans, and other forms of consumer debt. Most people understand that debt affects financial well-being, but debt can also impact marital relationships—and even increase the risk of divorce! A study involving 4,574 couples found that consumer debt not only strains family finances but can also increase marital conflicts, lower marital satisfaction, and even increase the likelihood of divorce.[1]

In an attempt to stay informed, I keep up with the news. I find myself fascinated by crazy and scary stories. The feeling part of my brain activates as I wade through article after article which consistently seem to share bleak and dark news. So why do I even bring that up? My point is that it is easy to look at the news and feel like there is no hope for the future. One example of this potential for despondence is a rising national (U.S.) debt and a culture that almost promotes and perpetuates debt. This environment can make it easier to make poor financial decisions. My hope is that by sharing some recent research, we might all find a little more hope in the financial outlook of the nation, families, and individuals.

Finances can be both one of the most stressful and one of the most important topics in marriage.[1] The way couples manage finances impacts not only financial satisfaction but also relationship satisfaction, for better or for worse.[2] Financial management can be connected to marital stability, satisfaction, disagreements, and conflict. Evidently, finances hold a lot of weight. Because it is such a heavy, consuming topic, careful consideration of how finances fit into one’s marriage can be vital to a marriage’s success.

Ever wonder why some couples can calmly talk through a budget while others spiral into shouting matches over spending? Money disagreements are one of the top stressors for couples—but what if the way you learned about money as a kid could help keep those fights at bay? That’s the question Dr. Ashley Larsen Gibby and colleagues explored in their 2021 study.1 They looked at how both implicit and explicit childhood financial lessons affect couples’ ability to handle money disagreements in marriage. In this article, I’ll explain what they found, why it matters, and how your own childhood money experiences might be your secret weapon (or crutch to overcome) for smoother financial talks with your partner.

Marriage requires the sharing of many things. There is a shift from individual goals and mindsets to setting goals as a couple, a change in focus and a new pattern, strengthening and supporting each other, and everything in between. During this adjustment, financial questions are often top of mind. How should we handle finances? Who handles the budgeting, income, and savings? Is it one partner, both, or something in between? And is one way of approaching it better than another approach? These questions are similar to those asked by researchers who sought to better understand how financial management roles influenced couple relationships.1,2,3

Retirement. The dream within a dream. The eventual likelihood for every working person and often a major goal and milestone for many people. Yet there is also sometimes a less talked-about but essential aspect to retirement. I term it a perpetual gloom and doom for some, with the hopes and dreams of fun, worthwhile, and fulfilling retirement being met with disappointment as financial worry overshadows it all. But are financial worries about retirement really such a big deal today? Do people still see them as a regular part of the retirement experience?