Couples

Hannah is extremely disciplined with her money. She keeps track of every cent, saves regularly, and maintains a strict budget. She is proud of her spending habits because she knows exactly where her money is going. These habits lead her to feel financially secure and satisfied. Josh, on the other hand, tends to use his money impulsively. He does not like to budget or save very much, and his financial situation often stresses him, leading him to feel financially frustrated. What happens when these two mindsets come together in a relationship? Would their finances follow Hannah’s financial expertise or Josh’s haphazard ways? According to research, there are certain outcomes that these two lovebirds could potentially expect.

You probably know your partner's favorite takeout order or Netflix show. But do you know how they feel about money? Not just the budget stuff—but their deep-down beliefs about what money means. These beliefs, called money scripts, can influence your behaviors, your conversations, and your connection with your partner.[1]

In Disney’s film Up, you learn about Carl and Ellie—a young couple filled with aspirations and adventurous spirits. Shortly after getting married, they purchased a fixer-upper house because it was likely all they could afford as a newlywed couple. To save money, Carl and Ellie sawed, nailed, and polished their house until it felt more like a home. After some planning, they prepared for an addition to their home: Carl and Ellie delicately hung toy blimps over a crib and trimmed the back wall with a hand-painted stork. The next time you see this overjoyed couple, however, they’re in a dark hallway under the ominous glow of a pale-lit doctor’s office. Ellie has her face buried in her palms—they can’t have children. She isn’t alone, though; about one-tenth of all couples struggle with infertility.[1]

Money is the last thing I want to talk about with my friends and family. Money is sensitive, personal, and a bit taboo. However, it is a vital resource to get the things we want and need in life! Seeking advice can be considered an important resource as well!1 Dr. Melissa Curran and her colleagues dove deeper into the idea of resources, specifically with consideration to seeking advice from family and friends.

Writing gives us the freedom to share our perspective, and perhaps through mine, you will reflect on yours.

While play is an essential aspect of child development,1 it is also crucial in adulthood in non-work activities that offer relaxation, engagement, and...connection.2 Play, or leisure, is beneficial in strengthening emotional connections, reducing tensions, and promoting positive interactions within a romantic relationship.3 Furthermore, shared leisure time promotes intimacy.3 After a long workday, a couple could benefit by walking, learning a hobby, or playing a game together. Just as it is important for parents to foster a loving and open environment for children to de-stress and find freedom in play, couples benefit from prioritizing their playtime and constructing within their lives an adult playpen of sorts, a space where they can emotionally reconnect, physically rejuvenate, and mentally unwind.4

Ratatouille. Have you ever tasted it? Perhaps you’ve heard of it. This humble dish dates back to the 1700s in the Southeastern region of France—Provence, specifically. Ratatouille was born out of necessity as the farmers could not let anything go to waste. Onions and tomatoes are sautéed in a pot with a drizzle of olive oil, joined by fresh chopped bell peppers, zucchini, eggplant—or any other vegetable one can scour. Once the veggies have danced around for a bit, everything in the pot is stewed together with a bundle of dried herbs to make a delicious, hearty dish. When making Ratatouille, timing and quality ingredients are vital.

What does money represent to you? Money to me is our time, effort, work, freedom, security, comfort, and even growth. We usually give meaning and value to money by what it represents to us. Now, would you trust your money to any person? What about your partner? Do you have enough confidence in how your partner manages money? Confidence is important when making decisions, but did you know that feeling confident about money is also good for your relationship?

Picture a newlywed couple, hand in hand, walking into their first home together. Beneath their smiles lies a hidden challenge: balancing their roles and responsibilities as they build both their relationship and their financial future. In the recent article, On the Same Page? Newlyweds’ Agreement About Shared Power Predicting Financial Management Behaviors Through Marital Commitment[1], distinguished scholars suggest that the way a couple navigates their marriage might also predict how they navigate their finances. Many assume that financial behaviors (e.g., paying your bills on time, or saving money from every paycheck) are a central driving force for romantic relationship outcomes.[2] However, research suggests that the ability of couples to maintain balance and commitment may also shape newlywed relationships, with financial behaviors serving as an outcome of these dynamics.

Differences in a relationship don’t always have to be harmful; in fact, at times they may actually be a strengthing factor. The unique qualities each partner brings—whether in opinions, perspectives, or choices—can create opportunities to grow together. As couples learn about their differences, they have the opportunity to discover what makes their partner special and valuable within the relationship.