Couples

Picture a newlywed couple, hand in hand, walking into their first home together. Beneath their smiles lies a hidden challenge: balancing their roles and responsibilities as they build both their relationship and their financial future. In the recent article, On the Same Page? Newlyweds’ Agreement About Shared Power Predicting Financial Management Behaviors Through Marital Commitment[1], distinguished scholars suggest that the way a couple navigates their marriage might also predict how they navigate their finances. Many assume that financial behaviors (e.g., paying your bills on time, or saving money from every paycheck) are a central driving force for romantic relationship outcomes.[2] However, research suggests that the ability of couples to maintain balance and commitment may also shape newlywed relationships, with financial behaviors serving as an outcome of these dynamics.

Differences in a relationship don’t always have to be harmful; in fact, at times they may actually be a strengthing factor. The unique qualities each partner brings—whether in opinions, perspectives, or choices—can create opportunities to grow together. As couples learn about their differences, they have the opportunity to discover what makes their partner special and valuable within the relationship.

Our perception of situations often influences how we respond to them. In the article Materialism, Perceived Financial Problems, and Marital Satisfaction, Dr. Luke Dean and colleagues examined how marital satisfaction was influenced by couples’ perceptions of financial issues (e.g., job insecurity, debt, differing priorities, and spending habits), emphasizing how materialism frequently fuels conflicts related to these challenges. They found that couples with strong materialistic values tend to see financial issues as more frequent, even when the intensity of the issues did not differ greatly from those faced by less materialistic couples.[1] The lower frequency of financial issues reported by less materialistic couples likely stems from their prioritization of the relationship over finances. When marriage is highly valued, financial issues are less likely to disrupt marital happiness; however, couples who highly value money and possessions might suffer in their marriage.[2] This begs the question, what do you choose to prioritize, and how do your choices influence your relationship?

The golden glow of the setting sun warms the vibrant petals of lilies and roses of a wedding arbor, under which a couple exchanges heartfelt vows. As they gaze into each other's eyes, they ponder the most romantic thought, “How will we manage our finances together?” They both have full-time jobs, with a shared annual salary of $80,000, but like the average American household, they are likely to be $16,000—or about 20% of their annual income—in debt.[1]

Although newlyweds are often optimistic about their future, their marriages may still face unique challenges.[1] For example, couples must navigate careers,3 family decisions,[2] finances,[3] and much more. So, what makes a marriage truly happy? In a recent study,[4] Matthew Saxey and his team examined how sleep, finances, and sex are related to marital happiness. What they discovered was eye-opening: these elements combine in unique ways to shape marital satisfaction, leading to four distinct relationship profiles—“Flounderers,” “Drowsy Budgeters,” “Financially Challenged Lovers,” and “Flourishers.” The four profiles revealed how these elements interact to shape couples’ relationships:

Serenity glanced over her shoulder as her significant other dragged himself into the kitchen after a long day at work. His face looked tired and emotionless, and she could tell something was wrong. When Serenity gently inquired about his change in demeaner, he hesitated and then revealed the truth—he had lost his job. The job that had supported their comfortable and beautiful lives was gone. Moreover, what they thought was a small bump in the road was about to turn into a mountain of debt and financial struggle. They were about to face the full force of the Great Recession of 2007-2009.[1]

In a recent study,[1] Dr. David Allsop and colleagues investigated factors influencing sexual satisfaction among couples during pregnancy, such as physiological (e.g., physical discomfort,[2] hormonal changes, sleep quality), psychological (e.g., anxiety, depressive symptoms, self-esteem), and social (e.g., relationship quality, support from friends and family, societal expectations) factors. Merely focusing on physiological factors is not enough to fully grasp or address the complexity of the issue. In fact, Allsop’s study revealed the complex and multifaceted nature of sexual satisfaction during pregnancy, emphasizing the importance of considering emotional and relational dynamics between spouses. By addressing a diverse range of influences, we can better support couples in experiencing enriching sexual relationships as they navigate through this transformative phase of life!

In a groundbreaking study, Dr. Brandan Wheeler and his team[1] investigate the interplay between financial distress, relational aggression, and marital quality among married couples in the U.S. after the 2009 Recession. Their findings reveal that relationally aggressive behaviors such as spreading rumors about a partner and withdrawing affection partially explained the impact of financial problems on the couple relationship post-recession. In other words, when some couples are financially stressed they treat each other worse, which then harms their marriage. This discovery underscores the detrimental effects of using harmful conflict tactics (like verbal attacks, silent treatment, and blame-shifting) during economic hardship and, on the other hand, the importance of mutual support and understanding between partners during times of financial strain.

Married life can be a rollercoaster with ups, downs, and unexpected turns along the way. While couples might hope their finances stay stable throughout their marriage, history is full of examples of big, unexpected financial challenges for families across the United States. Instances include the Great Depression in the 1930’s, the Great Recession in 2008, and most recently the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Other unexpected changes or disturbances happen to individual families such as the loss of a job, increases in living expenses, or the addition of a new child. The financial wellness of a couple—the level of stress or satisfaction in their financial situation—can be affected with each twist and turn of life.

Gold is the money of kings;[i] he who has the gold makes the rules.[ii] These famous sayings highlight the enduring link between wealth, power, and authority in our society. We only need to glance at the business world, politics, or Hollywood to see the influence money can have in pushing certain agendas and creating change in public spheres. But what about money’s influence in the private sector of our home lives? Does money influence family or couple dynamics, and if so, how? Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black and colleagues sought to answer these questions through two research articles exploring the associations between couple finances, relational power, and marital satisfaction and stability.[iii],[iv]