In a groundbreaking study, Dr. Brandan Wheeler and his team[1] investigate the interplay between financial distress, relational aggression, and marital quality among married couples in the U.S. after the 2009 Recession. Their findings reveal that relationally aggressive behaviors such as spreading rumors about a partner and withdrawing affection partially explained the impact of financial problems on the couple relationship post-recession. In other words, when some couples are financially stressed they treat each other worse, which then harms their marriage. This discovery underscores the detrimental effects of using harmful conflict tactics (like verbal attacks, silent treatment, and blame-shifting) during economic hardship and, on the other hand, the importance of mutual support and understanding between partners during times of financial strain.
These findings by Wheeler and colleagues make sense when we consider research by Conger and collegues.[2] They found that stressful financial events, such as job loss or wage reductions, can influence how people feel, think, and behave regarding finances. Worry can evolve into financial distress, which can negatively impact marital interactions and overall marital quality, potentially creating greater distance between partners. This highlights the importance of focusing not only on the problems themselves but also on how people respond to these challenges.
Additional studies show that when finances are tight, it can have negative influences on relationships.[3] For example, when partners are stressed, they may say hurtful things and easily fall into the trap of blaming each other. In fact, money conflicts often last longer, occur more frequently, and are harder to resolve than other marital disputes. Such conflicts are linked to anger in husbands and depressive behaviors in both spouses, which can lead to unresolved issues and increasingly negative conflict strategies. Understanding this can help couples find ways to navigate financial difficulties together without resorting to fighting and accusations. It’s all about open communication, supporting each other, and sticking together through both the good and tough times.
In short, marriages are often under pressure during tough economic times. However, if couples recognize the complex interplay between financial difficulties and marital outcomes, they can take preemptive steps to preserve their relationship. This includes promoting open communication, mutual support, and trust. Instead of letting financial challenges drive them apart, couples can use them as opportunities to grow and restore their relationship. With knowledge and proactive measures, couples can weather economic turmoil and emerge stronger than ever!
Takeaways:
Become financially prepared.
It is very important for couples to develop financial readiness, particularly amidst economic uncertainty. Establishing a financial reserve is strongly advised to mitigate the impact of financial hardships on both financial and relationship stability.[4] For instance, couples should set clear goals, create a budget, or even create an emergency fund. Aim for three to six months worth of living expenses saved up, while also reducing debt. It may be of benefit to regularly review your budget and make necessary adjustments to reach your financial goals. These proactive measures ensure stability and resilience, ultimately strengthening the relationship amidst unforeseen financial challenges.
Work at effective communication and conflict resolution.
Recognizing the link between financial issues and marital dynamics, couples are advised to prioritize transparent and constructive communication regarding financial matters. For example, scheduling regular budget meetings ensures both partners are informed and involved. Proactively addressing conflicts (such as differing spending habits) involves active listening and compromise. Strategies to manage financial distress may include setting joint savings goals or seeking financial counseling. Even during financial difficulties, focusing on healthy coping mechanisms and mutual support can strengthen your relationship.
Nurture your relationship.
In times of financial strain, it’s crucial for couples to rely on each other for support rather than withdrawing. Maintaining emotional connection and mutual assistance can help you navigate challenges together with resilience. Exploring activities that promote emotional closeness, such as couple’s therapy or stress-relief exercises, can further strengthen the relationship. Seeking professional counseling can also provide valuable guidance and tools to improve relationship dynamics and communication skills, helping couples better manage financial hardships together.
References:
[1] Wheeler, B. E., Kerpelman, J. L., & Yorgason, J. B. (2019). Economic hardship, financial distress, and marital quality: The role of relational aggression. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 40(4), 658–672. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-019-09632-4
[2] Conger, R. D., Elder, G. H., Lorenz, F. O., Conger, K. J., Simons, R. L., Whitbeck, L. B., Huck, S., & Melby, J. N. (1990). Linking economic hardship to marital quality and instability. Journal of Marriage and Family, 52(3), 643–656. https://doi.org/10.2307/352931
[3] Papp, L. M., Cummings, E. M., & Goeke-Morey, M. C. (2009). For richer, for poorer: Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58(1), 91–103. http://www.jstor.org/stable/20456839
[4] McDaniel, S. A., Gazso, A., & Um, S. (2013). Generationing relations in challenging times: Americans and Canadians in mid-life in the Great Recession. Current Sociology, 61(3), 301–321. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011392113475806