Couples

About half of emerging adults in the U.S. live with their parents,[1] which highlights the financial challenges they face, such as student loan debt, low income, and high living costs. These challenges significantly impact their financial situations and lifestyles. Notably, financial issues play a crucial role in the success of romantic relationships among emerging adults.

Money troubles can make or break a marriage, and in fact, financial conflict is the number one predictor of divorce—more than any other type of disagreement.[1] Therefore, understanding how couples manage and navigate through financial challenges is especially important. In a compelling study[2] led by Dr. Heather Kelley and her team, they explored the relationship between financial stress and marital quality. The study found that financial stress negatively impacts marital satisfaction. When couples experience certain life events such as marriage, unemployment, or childbirth, they are more prone to financial stress. However, effective communication and maintaining a positive attitude can help mitigate the negative effects financial stress has on marital quality, and can help couples strengthen their relationship.

Finances play a crucial role in adult romantic relationships,[i] and researchers had previously found that financial health and marital health were inter-connected.[ii] In their recent article, Money to Marriage, or Marriage to Money? Examining the Directionality Between Financial Processes and Marital Processes Among Newlywed Couples,[iii] Matthew Saxey, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, and their colleagues examined whether financial processes (such as financial behaviors and financial communication) predicted marital processes (such as marital satisfaction) or whether marital processes predicted financial processes in newlywed U.S. couples. In other words, money to marriage, or marriage to money? Finally, a chicken-and-egg situation we can find out the answer to!

Before getting married, my now husband and I often discussed our financial future. We chose from the start to have “all things in common,” (Acts 2:44)[1] financially that is, by combining our financial resources. That was a difficult and time-consuming decision for us. The reality is that finances are a huge part of any married couple’s relationship yet far too few individuals discuss the details of their financial goals and attitudes before tying the knot.[2] Having these discussions is beneficial because how couples choose to manage their finances from the beginning can have a long-lasting impact on their future marriage.[3], [4], [5]

Dr. Jeff Dew and colleagues’ article entitled Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce found that financial disagreements predicted divorce more strongly than other common types of disagreements (i.e., household tasks or time spent together).[1] This shows that money can be a real issue in relationships and take a serious toll on marriage. Another study explains that most marriages experience “financial conflict, strain, or stress” to one degree or another. Thus, it is important for couples to learn how to deal with these struggles and manage stress related to finances.[2] Dew and colleagues found that calm communication, overall marital satisfaction, and financial equality were important for a marriage to thrive. By cultivating healthy communication, managing expectations, and working as equal partners, couples can successfully navigate financial difficulties and claim joy in their lives together.

In marriage, numerous factors come into play determining power dynamics, or who holds what amount of power in the relationship. From work stress, intimacy, and social lives, there is much to balance within a marriage. Yet, in this complexity, have you ever paused to consider how your financial behaviors as a couple might be affecting your marriage? In this article, we will delve into the often-overlooked connection between financial behaviors and marital dynamics, shedding light on how our financial decisions may shape the delicate balance of power in our relationships, (hopefully) contributing to equal partnership.

As evidenced by numerous research studies, financial distress often negatively impacts relationship satisfaction.[1] Work-family spillover may be one potential reason for this association. Work-family spillover refers to the spillover of work stresses to family life (such as working overtime or bringing work home), as well as the spillover of family stresses to work (such as bringing family issues to work). Toby Driggs, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, and colleagues analyzed how work-family spillover is related to financial distress and relationship satisfaction for newlywed dual-earner couples.[2] They found that although work-family spillover can be harmful to a relationship when paired with financial distress, couples can adjust to overcome this difficulty and come out stronger.

Picture this: Maui, Maldives, or Mexico. You and your spouse are newlyweds basking in the glow of marital bliss. The sun on your skin, the breeze flowing through your hair, the scent of the salty sea air, the sound of your spouse counting your money to prepare the weekly budget—wait what? In their research study, Matthew Saxey, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, and colleagues discovered that the way couples manage their money together could impact their sex lives.[1]

It might feel like common sense that as a couple experiences more financial stress, they would probably experience difficulty in their marriage and their marital quality could go down. Makes sense, right? This situation might resonate with you because you have personally experienced it; perhaps you’re newly married and all the financial demands of married life have suddenly become very real. Or perhaps you’ve been married for a while now, and everything has been fine until one of you loses your job. Being married may not feel as fulfilling in these moments. However, there is reason to hope that things can get better, and that marital quality will rise again.

Finances will always be an important topic for couples. Dr. Heather Kelley and colleagues recently studied how spouses’ perceptions of each other’s financial behavior are linked to marital well-being.[1] They found that how a couple views each other’s spending decisions can impact their relationship. Specifically, perceiving one’s partner as a spender negatively impacted marital satisfaction, commitment, and power for both spouses. In addition, viewing one’s partner as a saver was detrimental for the marital commitment and power of each spouse.1 This article will explore more of Kelley’s findings and discuss couple dynamics and perceptions as they relate to spending, saving, and communicating about money.