Couples

Although newlyweds are often optimistic about their future, their marriages may still face unique challenges.[1] For example, couples must navigate careers,3 family decisions,[2] finances,[3] and much more. So, what makes a marriage truly happy? In a recent study,[4] Matthew Saxey and his team examined how sleep, finances, and sex are related to marital happiness. What they discovered was eye-opening: these elements combine in unique ways to shape marital satisfaction, leading to four distinct relationship profiles—“Flounderers,” “Drowsy Budgeters,” “Financially Challenged Lovers,” and “Flourishers.” The four profiles revealed how these elements interact to shape couples’ relationships:

Serenity glanced over her shoulder as her significant other dragged himself into the kitchen after a long day at work. His face looked tired and emotionless, and she could tell something was wrong. When Serenity gently inquired about his change in demeaner, he hesitated and then revealed the truth—he had lost his job. The job that had supported their comfortable and beautiful lives was gone. Moreover, what they thought was a small bump in the road was about to turn into a mountain of debt and financial struggle. They were about to face the full force of the Great Recession of 2007-2009.[1]

In a recent study,[1] Dr. David Allsop and colleagues investigated factors influencing sexual satisfaction among couples during pregnancy, such as physiological (e.g., physical discomfort,[2] hormonal changes, sleep quality), psychological (e.g., anxiety, depressive symptoms, self-esteem), and social (e.g., relationship quality, support from friends and family, societal expectations) factors. Merely focusing on physiological factors is not enough to fully grasp or address the complexity of the issue. In fact, Allsop’s study revealed the complex and multifaceted nature of sexual satisfaction during pregnancy, emphasizing the importance of considering emotional and relational dynamics between spouses. By addressing a diverse range of influences, we can better support couples in experiencing enriching sexual relationships as they navigate through this transformative phase of life!

In a groundbreaking study, Dr. Brandan Wheeler and his team[1] investigate the interplay between financial distress, relational aggression, and marital quality among married couples in the U.S. after the 2009 Recession. Their findings reveal that relationally aggressive behaviors such as spreading rumors about a partner and withdrawing affection partially explained the impact of financial problems on the couple relationship post-recession. In other words, when some couples are financially stressed they treat each other worse, which then harms their marriage. This discovery underscores the detrimental effects of using harmful conflict tactics (like verbal attacks, silent treatment, and blame-shifting) during economic hardship and, on the other hand, the importance of mutual support and understanding between partners during times of financial strain.

Married life can be a rollercoaster with ups, downs, and unexpected turns along the way. While couples might hope their finances stay stable throughout their marriage, history is full of examples of big, unexpected financial challenges for families across the United States. Instances include the Great Depression in the 1930’s, the Great Recession in 2008, and most recently the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Other unexpected changes or disturbances happen to individual families such as the loss of a job, increases in living expenses, or the addition of a new child. The financial wellness of a couple—the level of stress or satisfaction in their financial situation—can be affected with each twist and turn of life.

Gold is the money of kings;[i] he who has the gold makes the rules.[ii] These famous sayings highlight the enduring link between wealth, power, and authority in our society. We only need to glance at the business world, politics, or Hollywood to see the influence money can have in pushing certain agendas and creating change in public spheres. But what about money’s influence in the private sector of our home lives? Does money influence family or couple dynamics, and if so, how? Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black and colleagues sought to answer these questions through two research articles exploring the associations between couple finances, relational power, and marital satisfaction and stability.[iii],[iv]

About half of emerging adults in the U.S. live with their parents,[1] which highlights the financial challenges they face, such as student loan debt, low income, and high living costs. These challenges significantly impact their financial situations and lifestyles. Notably, financial issues play a crucial role in the success of romantic relationships among emerging adults.

Money troubles can make or break a marriage, and in fact, financial conflict is the number one predictor of divorce—more than any other type of disagreement.[1] Therefore, understanding how couples manage and navigate through financial challenges is especially important. In a compelling study[2] led by Dr. Heather Kelley and her team, they explored the relationship between financial stress and marital quality. The study found that financial stress negatively impacts marital satisfaction. When couples experience certain life events such as marriage, unemployment, or childbirth, they are more prone to financial stress. However, effective communication and maintaining a positive attitude can help mitigate the negative effects financial stress has on marital quality, and can help couples strengthen their relationship.

Finances play a crucial role in adult romantic relationships,[i] and researchers had previously found that financial health and marital health were inter-connected.[ii] In their recent article, Money to Marriage, or Marriage to Money? Examining the Directionality Between Financial Processes and Marital Processes Among Newlywed Couples,[iii] Matthew Saxey, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, and their colleagues examined whether financial processes (such as financial behaviors and financial communication) predicted marital processes (such as marital satisfaction) or whether marital processes predicted financial processes in newlywed U.S. couples. In other words, money to marriage, or marriage to money? Finally, a chicken-and-egg situation we can find out the answer to!

Before getting married, my now husband and I often discussed our financial future. We chose from the start to have “all things in common,” (Acts 2:44)[1] financially that is, by combining our financial resources. That was a difficult and time-consuming decision for us. The reality is that finances are a huge part of any married couple’s relationship yet far too few individuals discuss the details of their financial goals and attitudes before tying the knot.[2] Having these discussions is beneficial because how couples choose to manage their finances from the beginning can have a long-lasting impact on their future marriage.[3], [4], [5]