As evidenced by numerous research studies, financial distress often negatively impacts relationship satisfaction.[1] Work-family spillover may be one potential reason for this association. Work-family spillover refers to the spillover of work stresses to family life (such as working overtime or bringing work home), as well as the spillover of family stresses to work (such as bringing family issues to work). Toby Driggs, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, and colleagues analyzed how work-family spillover is related to financial distress and relationship satisfaction for newlywed dual-earner couples.[2] They found that although work-family spillover can be harmful to a relationship when paired with financial distress, couples can adjust to overcome this difficulty and come out stronger.
The Spillover Effect
Some of the findings of Driggs and colleagues were consistent for both wives and husbands. For example, they found that husbands and wives each experience a decrease in their own relationship satisfaction when they are coping with their own financial distress or their own work-family spillover. This finding helps us understand how individuals do not feel good about bringing a tangible burden to their romantic relationship, nor do they appreciate feeling pressured to give more to work or family at the cost of the other. Experiencing an imbalance between the work and family spheres can thus lead to internal turmoil for the responsible party.
Some findings differed between wives and husbands. Husbands’ financial distress and work-family spillover did not affect wives’ relationship satisfaction. However, when wives experienced financial distress and work-family spillover, their husbands tended to be less satisfied in the marriage. Sometimes, husbands were unhappy simply because of the financial challenges, but other times their dissatisfaction could be explained by the financial distress leading to wives blurring the boundaries between work and family. In other words, some newlywed couples experience a double standard in their marriage where husbands’ financial distress and work-family spillover is okay but wives’ isn’t.
This double standard may be due to gender stereotypes that can affect husbands’ responses to their wives’ work—whether consciously or subconsciously. Even though the majority of women work outside the home (even 71% of women with children under 18)[3] and men have become more involved in housework and childcare compared to past generations,[4] gender role expectations can persist. Husbands’ employment and the accompanying stress may be expected by wives and so it does not impact their relationship satisfaction. But if wives’ employment and accompanying stress is not expected or is viewed as taking away from responsibilities at home, some husbands may resent it.2 This gendered difference (where wives’ financial distress and work-family spillover is hard on a marriage while husbands’ is not) can be especially troubling for newlywed dual-earner couples, who are navigating their shared lives with a newly formed and thus limited reservoir of budding interdependence and mutual respect.
Navigating the Difficulty
According to Dr. Heather Kelley, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, and their colleagues, perceived family support can buffer the negative influence work-family spillover has on relationship satisfaction.[5] Family support can be emotional, such as words of encouragement, or instrumental, such as receiving help with housework or childcare. These types of support have been found to not only reduce work-family conflict, but they can increase work-family enrichment, which is described by Drs. Gary Powell and Jeffrey Greenhaus as ‘‘the extent to which experiences in one role [such as a workplace role] improves the quality of life in the other role [such as the role of wife and/or mother].’’[6] Franklin Covey adds that it is also important to seek first to understand, then to be understood.[7] This is especially valuable when conflict arises. As wives and husbands bolster the reservoir of support for each other and seek to understand one another in their newly formed family units, they allow a greater chance for a joyful and lasting relational journey.
Summary
The spillover effect includes both favorable and unfavorable findings for newlywed dual-earner couples confronting financial distress. Yet, even with the challenges, there is an opportunity to adapt and fortify an even stronger relationship through family support and mutual understanding.
Takeaways
1. Model and invite family support. We all have needs, and we all have dreams. When the needs and/or dreams are shared, it is easier to support one another. We must work a little harder and with more intention to offer support when our spouse’s needs and/or dreams are different than our own, but this is a powerful way to show love. Family support is not only limited to spousal support but can also come from extended family members as well. Additional family member support can provide helpful emotional or instrumental aid to the couple. The findings from Driggs’ study suggest that it might be especially important for husbands to increase their support of their wives’ work and family responsibilities to avoid decreased marital satisfaction during inevitable times of stress. This can include increased emotional support and increased instrumental support.
2. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Keep your mind and heart open as you seek first to understand your partner, then to be understood. This invites mutual respect and reciprocal mindfulness, which can help lead to mutually supportive behavior. If husbands lovingly seek to understand their wives’ experiences and perspectives, husbands might be better equipped to approach wives’ financial distress and work-family spillover as something to work through together, instead of as barriers to marital happiness. Stressors can be opportunities to grow closer together if they are tackled together as a team.[8]
References:
[1] Falconier, M. K., & Jackson, J. B. (2020). Economic strain and couple relationship functioning: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Stress Management, 27(4), 311–325. https://doi.org/10.1037/str0000157
[2] Driggs, T. M., LeBaron-Black, A. B., Saxey, M. T., Hill, E. J., James, S. L., Yorgason, J. B., & Holmes, E. K. (2023). All’s not fair in love and work: Financial distress, work-family spillover, and relationship satisfaction in newly-married couples. Community, Work, and Family, 1-21. https://doi.org/10.1080/13668803.2023.2174411
[3] Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2021). Employment characteristics of families. https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/famee.pdf
[4] Holmes, E. K., Petts, R. J., Thomas, C. R., Robbins, N. L., & Henry, T. (2020a). Do workplace characteristics moderate the effects of attitudes on father warmth and engagement? Journal of Family Psychology, 34(7), 867–878. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000672
[5] Kelley, H. H., LeBaron-Black, A. B., Hill, E. J., & Meter, D. (2021). Perceived family and partner support and the work-family interface: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, 37(3), 143-155. https://doi.org/10.5093/jwop2021a15
[6] Powell, G. N., & Greenhaus, J. H. (2006). Is the opposite of positive negative? Untangling the complex relationship between work‐family enrichment and conflict. Career development international, 11(7), 650-659. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430610713508
[7] Covey, S. (n.d.). Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. FranklinCovey. https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/habit-5/
[8] LeBaron, A. B., Curran, M. A., Li, X., Dew, J. P., Sharp, T. K., & Barnett, M. A. (2020). Financial stressors as catalysts for relational growth: Bonadaptation among lower-income, unmarried couples. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 41(3), 424-441. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-020-09666-z