Retirement. The dream within a dream. The eventual likelihood for every working person and often a major goal and milestone for many people. Yet there is also sometimes a less talked-about but essential aspect to retirement. I term it a perpetual gloom and doom for some, with the hopes and dreams of fun, worthwhile, and fulfilling retirement being met with disappointment as financial worry overshadows it all. But are financial worries about retirement really such a big deal today? Do people still see them as a regular part of the retirement experience?
Recent research has delved into retirement worries in the hopes of uncovering why these fears exist and how knowledge of their origin might be used to better prepare couples for retirement.1 To start, a research team led by Dr. Jeremy Yorgason highlighted a few compelling stats surrounding the concerns for both husbands and wives regarding retirement. They found that financial worries associated with retirement are a prevalent concern for both men and women. Husbands’ top three concerns stem from insufficient income (39%), excessive spending (33%), and heavy debt (15%). Likewise, the top three concerns of wives stem from insufficient income (47%), excessive spending (24%), and heavy debt (19%).1 Other concerns for both spouses included paying for education, net worth, and general expenses, although these were all less prevalent than the three main concerns for each partner.1 Those statistics highlight how retirement can be a significant worry for both spouses, and care should be taken to mitigate concerns and put effort towards a stable and fulfilling retirement.
While both husbands and wives typically have similar concerns about retirement, researchers also found some gender differences. They mainly found that husbands are more worried than wives concerning excessive spending, and that wives report a greater worry about general expenses than husbands.1 In other words, husbands might be more concerned with excessive spending habits, and wives might be more concerned with current living expenses and maintaining those levels throughout retirement.
Alright, that was a lot of research, and albeit not the most hopeful of statistics. However, there is power in understanding financial concerns and, through that understanding, building habits that help to mitigate worry. So what can be done? I want to present a couple of additional findings that may help us draw conclusions about what preparation can be made beyond the typical forms of retirement planning.
For one thing, couples who reported greater financial collaboration were more likely to say they had no worries about retirement.1 This is excellent news because it shows that when spouses communicate and make financial decisions together, their retirement concerns decrease. That decrease in stress over money potentially frees couples up to actually enjoy retirement, allowing them to spend their time doing the things they enjoy such as traveling, spending time with family, or simply relaxing. The final finding I would like to highlight is that husbands who reported approval of their partner’s financial behaviors were less concerned about excessive spending and heavy debt, and some even reported having no worries about finances.1 Although this was not the case for wives’ approval of their partner’s financial behaviors, it is still important for both spouses to learn about and work at becoming comfortable with each other’s financial behaviors through effective financial communication and transparency.
Retirement is a significant part of life and can easily be a cause for considerable worry; however, this does not have to be the case. Careful planning, financial communication, and transparency will lead spouses to be on the same page about their goals and values at the end of their careers and during the culminating chapters of their lives. This level of financial intimacy can not only lower the stress surrounding retirement but also provide a sense of comfort and bonding as couples look towards a hopeful and bright future.
Takeaways
1) Recognize shared and gender-specific concerns. Husbands and wives may both worry about retirement finances, but their concerns may differ.1 Acknowledging these differences can help to prevent misunderstandings.
2) Financial communication can lead to emotional security. Open conversations about retirement may not only ease financial stress, but can also build intimacy and strengthen the relationship.
3) Retirement planning is more than numbers. It’s about aligning goals, values, and expectations with your partner for a meaningful future. Looking for a way to start? Maybe try asking each other: What do you actually want retirement to look like?
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1Yorgason, J. B., Segel‐Karpas, D., Ermer, A., Weller, H., Owens, S., & Wheeler, B. E. (2024). What are we worried about? Midlife married couples' financial concerns about their retirement. Family Relations, 73(4), 2745-2764. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.13028