Newlywed life is like building a bridge together, and its stability depends on two essential pillars: trust and communication.[i] This period is not only a crucial time for redefining relationship norms, but also a period of some of the most heightened emotional fluctuations and shifts in relationship satisfaction.[ii] That makes it especially important to understand how trust and communication interact. Trust is an inner assurance that your partner will make decisions that benefit both of you[iii] and serves as the foundation for positive interaction.[iv] Communication is more than exchanging words; it’s about expressing respect, empathy, and affirmation, especially when one partner is feeling vulnerable.[v]
In sensitive areas, the quality of trust and communication is especially important, and studies have found that it directly impacts relationship stability.8 Money and sex are widely recognized as the two most conflict-prone topics in marriage, as they touch on power, values, and identity, which often expose deep-seated needs and insecurities.[vi] This also explains their strong link to divorce risk.[vii]
When it comes to financial matters, trust and communication are especially intertwined. A seven-year longitudinal study[viii] of 2,168 newlywed couples found that trust and communication are mutually reinforcing when it comes to financial matters.
Trust encourages open, collaborative, and equitable communication, further strengthening trust.[ix] High-quality financial communication not only builds trust directly, but also does so indirectly by fostering shared financial management, fair division of labor, and joint decision-making.3 In contrast, high-conflict financial communication has been linked to negative marital outcomes over time.[x]
Sexual communication, while equally vital, follows a slightly different trajectory. Early in marriage, trust must come first; only when partners feel accepted and safe are they willing to share sexual needs and fears.[xi] As the relationship stabilizes, sexual communication begins to predict future increases in trust, enhancing intimacy and emotional closeness.[xii] This suggests that sexual communication is not just a result of trust but also a powerful catalyst for deepening it.
Taken together, these findings highlight the importance of proactive communication. Intentionally establishing high-quality communication practices early in marriage—grounded in respect, openness, and shared vision—is especially critical in sensitive areas like finances and sex. Doing so helps reduce defensiveness, fosters understanding and trust, and lays the foundation for a more stable and satisfying relationship.
Takeaways:
- Trust and communication are the foundation of a stable relationship.
Good communication enhances trust, and high trust encourages more open and honest exchanges, creating a positive feedback loop that strengthens emotional connection.5 Intimate communication increases trust, and trust promotes self-disclosure, allowing partners to share their inner feelings.[xiii] Set regular “communication times”—a weekly relaxed session to talk about feelings, daily life, and the future; use “I feel…” instead of “You always…” statements to avoid conflict escalation. - The unique challenges of sexual and financial communication.
Because they are connected to power, values, and identity, sex and money often trigger conflict and insecurity. Financial conflict is often rooted in low trust, while sexual communication can feel especially risky5 due to its emotional and private nature. One helpful strategy is to set shared intentions—such as “We want money to build trust” and “We want sex to feel safe and nurturing”—to guide sensitive conversations.[xiv] Another strategy is to hold regular, low-pressure check-ins where both partners use “I” statements and focus on connection rather than blame.11 These practices can reduce defensiveness, strengthen trust, and improve relationship satisfaction.5
References:
[i]Solomon D. H., Knobloch L. K., Theiss J. A., & McLaren R. M. (2016). Relational turbulence theory: Explaining variation in subjective experiences and communication within romantic relationships. Human Communication Research, 42(4), 507–532. https://doi.org/10.1111/hcre.12091
[ii] Joiner R. J., Bradbury T. N., Lavner J. A., Meltzer A. L., McNulty J. K., Neff L. A., & Karney B. R. (2023). Are changes in marital satisfaction sustained and steady, or sporadic and dramatic? American Psychologist, 79(2), 225–240. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0001207
[iii] Leavitt C. E., & LeBaron-Black A. B. (2025). Two taboos: The money and sex model (MSM) in romantic relationships. Unpublished manuscript.
[iv] Wieselquist J., Rusbult C. E., Foster C. A., & Agnew C. R. (1999). Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(5), 942–966. https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.77.5.942
[v] Gottman J. M. (2011). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. WW Norton & Company.
[vi] Atwood J. D. (2012). Couples and money: The last taboo. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 40(1), 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2011.600674
[vii] Hawkins A. J., Willoughby B. J., & Doherty W. J. (2012). Reasons for divorce and openness to marital reconciliation. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 53(6), 453–463. https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2012.682898
[viii] Forbush, A., LeBaron-Black, A. B., Saxey, M. T., Suxo-Sanchez, S., Holmes, E. K., & Yorgason, J. (2024). Can I trust you? Bidirectional, longitudinal associations between trust and various topics of couple communication. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 02654075251331332. (check this reference—it’s missing the doi and journal volume/pages)
[ix] Saxey M. T., LeBaron-Black A. B., Inman N. F., Yorgason J. B., & Holmes E. K. (2024). The earlier couples first discussed finances, the better? A dyadic, longitudinal replication and extension. Family Relations.(missing journal volume & page numbers) https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.13030
[x] Saxey M. T., LeBaron-Black A. B., Inman N. F., Yorgason J. B., & Holmes E. K. (2024). The earlier couples first discussed finances, the better? A dyadic, longitudinal replication and extension. Family Relations.(missing journal volume & page numbers) https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.13030
[xi] Montesi J. L., Fauber R. L., Gordon E. A., &Heimberg R. G. (2011). The specific importance of communicating about sex to couples’ sexual and overall relationship satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28(5), 591–609. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407510386833
[xii] McNulty J. K., Wenner C. A., & Fisher T. D. (2016). Longitudinal associations among relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and frequency of sex in early marriage. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 45(1), 85–97. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-014-0444-6
[xiii] Larzelere R. E., & Huston T. L. (1980). The dyadic trust scale: Toward understanding interpersonal trust in close relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 42(3), 595–604. https://doi.org/10.2307/351903
[xiv] Theiss J. A., & Solomon D. H. (2007). Communication and the emotional, cognitive, and relational consequences of first sexual encounters between partners. Communication Quarterly, 55(2), 179–206. https://doi.org/10.1080/01463370601036663