Elise is originally from Lehi, Utah and is a Family Studies major at BYU. After graduating, she plans on pursuing a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with family and friends, traveling, and doing anything creative.
Elise Rich
More from this author
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When She Earns More: What Power Really Looks Like in Modern Marriage
Money may not buy love, but it can definitely shape the balance of power in a relationship. For generations, men have been seen as the providers—the ones who bring home the paycheck and, in turn, hold decision-making power. What happens when that script flips and she earns more? Does power in marriage shift with income, or do old gender roles still quietly steer the relationship?
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The Real Reason Couples Fight About Money
Ever wonder why some couples can calmly discuss finances while others spiral into arguments over spending? Money disagreements are one of the top stressors for romantic relationships, but the fights are often less about dollars and cents than they are about fairness, responsibility, and the values each partner brings to the table. Imagine a couple sitting down to pay bills, and one partner notices the other spent $200 on new headphones without mentioning it. The argument that follows isn’t really about the headphones—it’s about trust, responsibility, and whether money is being handled fairly. So, what is the difference between couples? In their 2023 study, Peetz, Meloff, and Royle explored exactly this, looking at what couples fight about when money is involved, which disagreements affect satisfaction, and which ones tend to cause the most stress.¹ They analyzed hundreds of financial conflict descriptions from reddit posts and recollections from married couples to uncover what couples actually fight about, which disagreements connect to relationship satisfaction, and which types of money conflicts are most harmful. In this article, I’ll explain what they found, why it matters, and how understanding these patterns can help couples approach money conversations with more empathy and less stress.
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What You Saw is What You Get: Childhood Money Lessons and Marital Financial Fights
Ever wonder why some couples can calmly talk through a budget while others spiral into shouting matches over spending? Money disagreements are one of the top stressors for couples—but what if the way you learned about money as a kid could help keep those fights at bay? That’s the question Dr. Ashley Larsen Gibby and colleagues explored in their 2021 study.1 They looked at how both implicit and explicit childhood financial lessons affect couples’ ability to handle money disagreements in marriage. In this article, I’ll explain what they found, why it matters, and how your own childhood money experiences might be your secret weapon (or crutch to overcome) for smoother financial talks with your partner.
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Stressed About Money? You’re Not Alone
If you’re a college student, chances are you’ve felt stressed about money at some point. Whether it’s worrying about student loans, stretching your paycheck to cover rent, or just figuring out how to pay for groceries and gas, financial stress can feel overwhelming. And you’re not alone—studies show financial stress is one of the top challenges college students face. The good news? You don’t have to figure it all out by yourself. Financial counseling, something many students don’t even realize their campus offers, can be a game-changer. A study by Dr. Sonya Britt Lutter and colleagues examined the impact financial stress has on college students and the role of counseling services in addressing this issue.1 They found that not only is financial stress widespread, but seeking help through counseling reduces that stress and improves money management skills over time. In other words, talking to someone who understands both the emotional and practical side of money can give students the tools and confidence to stop feeling like they’re drowning.
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More Than a Bank Balance: Building Financial Identity in College
You’ve heard of finding your identity in college—figuring out your values, goals, and even your sense of self. But have you ever thought about your financial identity? It’s more than just your bank account balance or budgeting skills. Financial identity is about how you see yourself in relation to money—how confident, capable, and responsible you feel when it comes to earning, spending, and saving. And for emerging adults, it turns out this piece of identity is a lot more powerful than we may realize. In a 2023 study, researchers Dr. Brandan Wheeler and Dr. Cecilia Brooks looked at how money lessons you learn from classes like consumer economics or family finance, and from your own family and life experiences, shape financial identity and well-being.¹ In other words, how do the money lessons you learn—and how you learn those lessons—affect who you believe you are financially? And how does that financial self-image impact how well you handle your money? Their findings can help all of us better understand the emotional and developmental side of money, especially during the critical years of emerging adulthood.
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Money & Marriage: Why Financial Worries Don’t Always Mean Unhappy Couples
Money and marriage…when put together, they can be a recipe for stress and strain. But what if there was a way to handle money worries without letting them harm your relationship? New research shows that financial concerns don’t always spell doom for a relationship. In fact, some couples can feel stressed about money and still report being happy together. How? That’s what Drs. Brandan Wheeler and Cecilia Brooks1 set out to explore. They studied how financial worries, relationship happiness, and money management behaviors are connected among married and cohabiting couples. Their findings reveal that how you handle money matters just as much—if not more—than whether you feel financially stressed in the first place. In other words, the strategies couples use around money can act as a protective factor, helping them stay close even when finances are tight.
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Love, Money, and Who’s Really in Charge
Money can do more than stress a relationship; it can quietly shape who holds power in a couple. But it doesn’t have to be a source of tension. A study by Dr. Xiaomin Li and colleagues examined how financial communication, power imbalances, and even “social sabotage” show up in different-gender couples in the U.S.1 Put simply, the way partners talk about money and make decisions together can either bring them closer or create subtle tension. The study highlights three key dynamics that shape relationships: how open communication fosters fairness, how power imbalances emerge when communication falters, and how certain behaviors can quietly undermine trust.
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From Piggy Banks to Pensions: How Childhood Lessons Shape Retirement Dreams
Ever wonder why some couples seem totally in sync when it comes to managing money, while others can’t agree on whether to save, spend, or invest? The start of those habits often occurs early in life. In their 2014 study, BYU researchers Scott Payne and colleagues looked at how financial lessons from childhood can shape how well couples manage money together.¹ How you learned to handle money as a kid—whether through direct lessons or by observing your parents’ habits—can influence whether you and your partner develop healthy financial teamwork, including decisions about long-term goals like retirement or everyday spending.
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From Parents to Partner: How Both Impact Your Money Habits
You’ve probably heard that love can change you—but did you know it can also change your money habits? That’s exactly what Dr. Joyce Serido and her colleagues sought to find out. Over four years, they followed college students to see how the people closest to them—parents and romantic partners—shaped the way they thought about and handled money.1 In this article, I’ll break down what the study discussed, why these findings matter, and how you can use them to improve both your money habits and your relationships.
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