In their recent article, Don’t Believe What You Hear—Money Isn’t the Leading Cause of Divorce, leading marriage scholars suggest that money itself might not be what leads many couples to divorce.
How couples manage and discuss money, rather than the money itself, seems to be what impacts their marriage.1 Beyond managing or discussing money, according to recent research led by Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black, spouses’ attitudes about money might also impact their marriage.2
LeBaron-Black and colleagues were interested in an all-too-familiar concept in Western society—materialism. These scholars defined materialism as the importance that someone places on worldly possessions. Given the connection between beliefs about money and financial behaviors in line with these beliefs (such as overspending),3 it makes sense that researchers have found that materialistic beliefs can negatively impact financial well-being.4 However, recent research also indicates that materialism can impact marital well-being.5
Research reveals that materialism can negatively impact marital satisfaction.6 This same research also identified that financial problems were a possible reason why. Basically, placing a high value on worldly possessions was connected to couples having more financial problems, and having more financial problems made their marriage less satisfying.
Rather than ask the same research questions over and over, a characteristic of productive research is to build off of what others have previously done—and that’s exactly what a subsequent study did.7 Further research examined whether spouses were similar or different in materialistic attitudes and what these congruent, or incongruent, attitudes might mean for their marriage. These scholars found that couples where both spouses were not materialistic had the highest quality marriages. Couples who were incongruent in materialistic values—with one spouse materialistic and the other not—had lower quality marriages. Even if both partners were materialistic, the research notes, they still had lower quality marriages than those couples who were both not materialistic.
The main message from this previous research is that materialism matters for the quality of a marriage. To build off of what these researchers accomplished, LeBaron-Black and colleagues wondered if there were other explanations as to why materialism predicts worse marital satisfaction. They made an educated guess that materialism would be connected to one’s perception of the importance of marriage. Specifically, these authors proposed that more materialistic beliefs would be associated with a perception that marriage is less important. This lower importance of marriage, the researchers hypothesized, would be a potential reason why materialism would contribute to a lower quality marriage—and that’s what they found.
Supporting past research,8 materialism was again connected to lower marital satisfaction. However, only wives’ reports of materialism predicted husbands’ and wives’ reports of lower marital satisfaction. When the authors considered importance of marriage, for both husbands and wives, materialism was connected to placing a lower importance on marriage. Then, this lower importance of marriage predicted lower marital satisfaction. In essence, placing a lower importance on marriage helped explain why materialism was connected to a lower quality marriage.
Marriage and materialism, then, are what we call conflicting values.9 Placing a high value on possessions can conflict with placing a high value on people. We spend our finite time and effort on what we value most—whether that’s accumulating newer, nicer, bigger things or nurturing relationships. As LeBaron-Black and colleagues put it, “materialism is a value which must compete with marriage and family for time and attention.”10 In the end, those who value possessions over people tend to be in unhappy marriages because they are not putting in the hard work necessary to be in a happy one.
Takeaways
Discussing research findings matters only as far as something is done about the research. While social science research findings are not like other scientific findings like the principle of gravity, they still have something to teach us. Here are two takeaways from this research and what couples can do about it:
1. Lessen your materialism. Beyond how couples manage and discuss money, their materialistic attitudes can negatively impact their marriage. Having materialistic attitudes might also be financially unrealistic today—with 67% or Americans stressed about finances,11 which might increase with the current rise of inflation. Put simply, there might not be as much room today in Americans’ budgets for materialistic beliefs and practices. As such, we recommend couples discuss their attitudes related to materialism and whether they might care too much about possessions or what other people think. Have yesterday’s luxuries become today’s perceived necessities? If needed, simplify your schedule and rethink your spending habits so you have more time and energy to put toward relationships. Changing attitudes about money is extremely hard work, especially since these attitudes could have been passed down from your family.12 We recommend couples find and visit with a financial therapist, who would have training in finances, mental health, and romantic relationships, to help couples lessen their materialistic values. Doing so would likely improve the quality of a couple’s marriage.
2. Prioritize your marriage. Our beliefs about money and marriage matter. It seems that for many couples, placing more importance on money and material possessions might translate to also placing a lower importance on marriage. Conversely, if spouses prioritize their marriage and view it as most important, materialistic tendencies may lessen. We invite couples to discuss what they truly value most in life and discuss any changes that may need to be made so that your behavior (including how you spend your time and money) better reflects those core values. As needed, couples can set goals and make plans to place a higher value on their marriage. For assistance in changing personal and couple values, there are many in-person and online resources available. For in person assistance, we recommend searching for and contacting a marriage and family therapist in your area. For online assistance, we recommend checking out reputable cites for online therapy including this one.
Summary
According to Dr. LeBaron-Black’s research,13 money and marriage are not incompatible, but materialism and marriage might be. As couples lessen and avoid materialistic beliefs and practices, they likely will place a higher importance on marriage and enjoy a higher quality marriage. Any changes to lessen and avoid materialism, according to this research, would be worth it.
[1]Dew, J. P., Britt, S., & Huston, S. (2012). Examining the relationship between financial issues and divorce. Family Relations, 61(4), 615–628. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2012.00715.x
Saxey, M. T., Leavitt, C. E., Dew, J. P., Yorgason, J. B., Holmes, E. K., & LeBaron-Black, A. B. (2021). The budget and the bedroom: Associations between financial management behaviors, perceptions of economic pressure, and sexual satisfaction. Journal of Financial Therapy, 12(2), 21–46. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1266
[2]LeBaron, A. B., Allsop, D. B., Hill, E. J., Willoughby, B. J., & Britt-Lutter, S. L. (2017). Marriage and materialism: Actor and partner effects between materialism, importance of marriage, and marital satisfaction. Journal of Financial Therapy, 8(2), 1–23. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1145
[3]Klontz, B., Britt, S. L., Mentzer, J., & Klontz, T. (2011). Money beliefs and financial behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Script Inventory. Journal of Financial Therapy, 2(1), 1–22. https://doi.org/10.4148/jft.v2i1.451
[4]Garðarsdóttir, R. B., & Dittmar, H. (2012). The relationship of materialism to debt and financial well-being: The case of Iceland’s perceived prosperity. Journal of Economic Psychology, 33(3), 471–481. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.joep.2011.12.008
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Dean, L. R., Carroll, J. S., & Yang, C. (2007). Materialism, perceived financial problems, and marital satisfaction. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal, 35(3), 260–281. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077727X06296625
LeBaron, A. B., Kelley, H. H., & Carroll, J. S. (2017). Money over marriage: Marriage importance as a mediator between materialism and marital satisfaction. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 39(2), 337–347. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-017-9563-2
[6]Dean, L. R., Carroll, J. S., & Yang, C. (2007). Materialism, perceived financial problems, and marital satisfaction. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal, 35(3), 260–281. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077727X06296625
[7]Carroll, J. S., Dean, L. R., Call, L. L., & Busby, D. M. (2011). Materialism and marriage: Couple profiles of congruent and incongruent spouses. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 10(4), 287–308. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2011.613306
[8]Carroll, J. S., Dean, L. R., Call, L. L., & Busby, D. M. (2011). Materialism and marriage: Couple profiles of congruent and incongruent spouses. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 10(4), 287–308. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2011.613306
Dean, L. R., Carroll, J. S., & Yang, C. (2007). Materialism, perceived financial problems, and marital satisfaction. Family and Consumer Sciences Research Journal, 35(3), 260–281. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077727X06296625
LeBaron, A. B., Kelley, H. H., & Carroll, J. S. (2017). Money over marriage: Marriage importance as a mediator between materialism and marital satisfaction. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 39(2), 337–347. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-017-9563-2
[9]Burroughs, J. E., & Rindfleisch, A. (2002). Materialism and well-being: A conflicting values perspective. Journal of Consumer Research, 29(3), 348-370. https://doi.org/10.1086/344429
Li, N. P., Lim, A. J. Y., Tsai, M.-H., & O, J. (2015). Too materialistic to get married and have children? PLOS ONE, 10(5), e0126543. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0126543
Li, N. P., Patel, L., Balliet, D., Tov, W., & Scollon, C. N. (2011). The incompatibility of materialism and the desire for children: Psychological insights into the fertility discrepancy among modern countries. Social Indicators Research, 101(3), 391-404. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-010-9665-9
[10]LeBaron, A. B., Allsop, D. B., Hill, E. J., Willoughby, B. J., & Britt-Lutter, S. L. (2017). Marriage and materialism: Actor and partner effects between materialism, importance of marriage, and marital satisfaction. Journal of Financial Therapy, 8(2), 1–23. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1145
[11]American Psychological Association. (2020). Stress in America: A national mental health crisis. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2020/sia-mental-health-crisis.pdf
[12]Britt, S. L. (2016). The intergenerational transference of money attitudes and behaviors. Journal of Consumer Affairs, 50(3), 539–556. https://doi.org/10.1111/joca.12113
[13]LeBaron, A. B., Allsop, D. B., Hill, E. J., Willoughby, B. J., & Britt-Lutter, S. L. (2017). Marriage and materialism: Actor and partner effects between materialism, importance of marriage, and marital satisfaction. Journal of Financial Therapy, 8(2), 1–23. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1145