Have you ever been on a run or participated in some form of physical activity and wondered to yourself, “How does this actually benefit me?” I have been on plenty of runs where the adrenaline and excitement have long worn off and the salt streaks on my face, combined with the aching in my muscles, made me question whether working out is all it has been hyped up to be. Those experiences allowed me to seriously consider whether working out is a benefit or a burden, leading me to explore its impacts more deeply, especially regarding marriage relationships. Today, I want to share a few things I have learned, specifically focusing on how exercise might impact marriage relationships.
Dr. Jeremy Yorgason and his colleagues delved into the complex nature of exercising both individually and as married couples, aiding me in answering my own queries.1 I will highlight a few key pieces from their research. They found that both individually exercising in general and individually exercising more often were linked with more frequent positive marital events (such as helping your spouse with something meaningful; increased comfort, caring, love, and listening; or simply enjoying a shared activity) and increased satisfaction in the marriage. However, these results only held true for wives, which does not mean individual exercise is not important for husbands.1 Husbands and wives still get benefits from individual exercise, just maybe not the same benefits, as highlighted by the results of this study.1 So, wives seeking to improve their marriage by increasing positive marital events might consider beginning to exercise more regularly or increasing their current exercise habits.
Individual exercise is fine and good, but what about exercising as a couple? This is where the research gets interesting. The scholars found that couples who exercised together had increased positive marital events (defined above) and increased marital satisfaction.1 These positive effects held for both husbands and wives.1 These specific outcomes for husbands might stem from the finding that men often bond and strengthen their relationships through shared activities such as couple exercise. On the other hand, women tend to bond and strengthen their relationships through increased meaningful conversations.2 Thus, shared exercise can be used to help both spouses improve their relationship and satisfaction by increasing both shared activity and bonding time through meaningful communication. Accessing these benefits can be understood through a "relationship bucket" analogy. It takes effort from both partners to fill this bucket, and when couples exercise together, they are each contributing—pouring into or investing in—their shared relationship. These metaphorical deposits strengthen their marriage, enhance emotional connection, and support overall fulfillment by helping meet the needs of both partners.
The research also yielded some significant results with tandem exercise that were true only for wives.1 They found that wives experienced fewer negative events (such as arguments, less couple time, spousal criticism, or general spousal disappointment) in their relationship as they participated in couple exercise.1 These results suggest that when wives actively take part in exercising with their partner, it may help protect them from negative relationship experiences. Thus, couple exercise does more than simply strengthen your body; it also may allow you and your spouse to better bond, increasing the positive shared experiences, and ultimately increasing the satisfaction within your marriage.
Takeaways
1) Tips and tricks for individual exercise. Individual exercise is crucial for health and wellness, and for wives it even improves marriage outcomes as well.1 For those looking to start their exercise journey or seeking to improve existing exercise habits, here are some tips3:
- Incorporate fitness into your natural daily routine (plan when you will exercise, set reminders, etc.).
- Keep it balanced (incorporate multiple types of exercises, plan light and heavy workout days, etc.).
- Start slow and build up to more intense exercise.
- Allow proper recovery time, like taking a few days off when you need to.
- Break things up throughout the day (such as quick yoga in the morning and a light run in the evening).
- Finally, be creative! Try something new like trail running, rock climbing, speed walking, or a new sport like pickleball.
2) Tips and tricks for couple exercise. Couple exercise greatly benefits both husbands and wives and even improves their overall relationship.1 For those looking to increase exercise with their significant other, here are some tips4:
- Try couple-friendly activities like cycling, water fitness classes, couple circuit training, or TRX training.
- Try a new sport together, like boxing, or even join a co-ed team together.
- Communicate and find things that you are both interested in trying.
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1Yorgason, J. B., Johnson, L. N., Hill, M. S., & Selland, B. (2018). Marital benefits of daily individual and conjoint exercise among older couples. Family Relations: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies, 67(2), 227–239. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12307
2Roberts, S. B. G., & Dunbar, R. I. M. (2015). Managing relationship decay. Human Nature, 26(4), 426–450. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12110-015-9242-7
3Mayo Clinic Staff. (2023, December 5). 5 steps to start a fitness program. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/fitness/art-20048269
4Shana Verstegen. (2017, February 10). Tips for couples training together. American Council on Exercise. https://www.acefitness.org/resources/pros/expert-articles/6275/tips-for-couples-training-together/?srsltid=AfmBOopTLyJXMcOAgDx-btwtdt5iOhuHroxbhjOLoHcTplkO6kv7ac4u