In a two-year study conducted by Dr. Chelom Leavitt and her colleagues,[1] they tracked 338 couples to explore the impact of materialism on marital relationships. It was found that materialism—regarding money, possessions, and status as the keys to happiness1—profoundly affects the emotional and sexual wellbeing of couples.1 Previous research shows that both "object-oriented" materialism (the pursuit of material things) and "image-oriented" materialism (the pursuit of image enhancement) are associated with lower relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction.[2] In other words, the more a couple values money and material things, the more likely they are to feel dissatisfied in their relationship and sex life.
Surprisingly, materialism has different influences on men and women.[3] When women focus on shopping or owning high-quality goods, they often report higher sexual satisfaction.1 This may stem from the immediate sense of self-worth and empowerment brought by material things.[4] However, when men are highly materialistic, they experience the opposite effect: not only does their own relationship satisfaction decline, but so does the relationship satisfaction of their partner.1 This might be because men who are materialistic have difficulty investing the attention, care, and trust needed in a relationship.[5] Women's materialism has some drawbacks too: women’s materialism may lower men's relationship satisfaction, as these men may feel that their partner prioritizes money and image over emotional and sexual connection.[6]
Couples are often encouraged to pursue a "better" quality of life. However, the results of Dr. Leavitt’s study remind couples that the excessive pursuit of material things may unintentionally weaken the most precious thing—their relationship.
Takeaways
· Focus on your partner rather than material things.
Newlyweds should be aware that the excessive pursuit of material goods often weakens sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction in marriage.4 In contrast, spending time with one's partner and fostering a deep emotional connection can bring more lasting marital happiness.1 Couples can start by arranging exclusive date times, taking walks together, or having dinner together. Focusing on each other rather than the persistent pursuit of success and prestige can infuse more satisfaction and warmth within their marriage.
· His and hers in material desires and relationship outcomes.
In terms of materialistic attitudes, there can be gender differences. For example, in some couples, men pay more attention to social status and external image, which can affect their relational commitment and satisfaction.[7] If these differences are not openly discussed, misunderstandings may arise—such as one partner feeling undervalued—leading to emotional distance. Open communication helps couples identify and understand each other’s values and expectations, rather than making assumptions. By regularly engaging in emotional conversations, practicing non-judgmental communication, jointly setting goals around spending and lifestyle, and exploring each other’s deeper emotional needs, couples can build stronger trust and alignment. When challenges persist, seeking professional support can provide tools to navigate these complex differences and strengthen the relationship.
References:
[1] Leavitt, C. E., Dew, J. P., Allsop, D. B., Runyan, S. D., & Hill, E. J. (2019). Relational and sexual costs of materialism in couple relationships: An actor–partner longitudinal study. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 40, 438-454. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10834-019-09617-3
[2] Willoughby, B. J., Hall, S. S., & Luczak, H. P. (2015). Marital paradigms: A conceptual framework for marital attitudes, values, and beliefs. Journal of Family Issues, 36, 188–211. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X13487677
[3] Segal, B., & Podoshen, J. S. (2013). An examination of materialism, conspicuous consumption and gender differences. International Journal of Consumer Studies, 37, 189–198. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1470-6431.2012.01099.x.
[4] Schiffman, L. G., & Kanuk, L. L. (2004). Consumer Behavior. Upper Saddle River: Prentice-Hall.
[5] LeBaron, A. B., Kelley, H. H., & Carroll, J. S. (2017). Money over marriage: Marriage importance as a mediator between materialism and marital satisfaction. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 39, 337–347. https://doi.org/10.4148/1944-9771.1145
[6] Shimanoff, S. B. (2009). Gender role theory. Encyclopedia of Communication Theory, 1, 433–436. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781412959384.n161.
[7] Li, N. P., Lim, A. J. Y., Tsai, M., & O., J (2015). Too materialistic to get married and have children? Plos ONE, 10, 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0126543.