Welcome! Today, I want to take you on a journey about how emerging adults navigate specific aspects of marriage preparation, with the help of Matthew Saxey and colleagues.1 I specifically want to target financial attitudes and beliefs and how they might impact an emerging adult’s marriage preparation and financial well-being. Emerging adulthood is a time of exploration and change during which values and beliefs are shaped and solidified. It also tends to be a time where people remain highly moldable as if the clay has yet to harden. One belief currently circulating among many emerging adults is the notion that financial barriers limit their ability to get married or their capacity to afford or be ready for marriage. In other words, some emerging adults think marriage should be put off until later in their future because they’re not financially ready for marriage yet. But do beliefs about financial barriers to marriage actually impact an emerging adult’s preparation (debt reduction and asset gain)?
This question, along with others, led these researchers to explore beliefs about financial barriers to marriage and how they can potentially impact both debt and assets during emerging adulthood. Surprisingly, they found that when emerging adults held beliefs about financial barriers to marriage, over time they were actually more likely to experience a decrease in assets (meaning they had less money).1 Although many emerging adults may have good reason to expect financial barriers to marriage, these concerns actually might be more detrimental than helpful when it comes to financially preparing for marriage; these beliefs might actually exacerbate the very problem they focus on.
If these beliefs that emerging adults hold about financial barriers to marriage affect assets, what other financial impact might these beliefs have? Matthew Saxey and his colleagues also explored how beliefs about financial barriers to marriage might impact levels of debt in emerging adulthood. They actually found that those initial beliefs or changes in beliefs over time were not predictive of changes in debt for emerging adults.1 This means that those financial barrier beliefs about marriage might not be affecting debt levels. This finding is neither good nor alarming. This means that holding or not holding the belief about financial barriers to marriage does not influence emerging adults’ debt.1
All in all, these beliefs do not have the effect one may think. While there could be a significant concern about being able to afford marriage, these beliefs do not seem to help emerging adults either gain more assets or reduce debt. In fact, the beliefs might be having the opposite effect! While for many emerging adults marriage preparation might include managing stress about finances, it may be important to question your internalized beliefs about what is or is not actually necessary to do before getting married and how those beliefs are helping or hindering you. According to this study, barrier beliefs might not actually be helping prepare you to say “I do.”
Another vital piece to consider is how emerging adults frame marriage itself. Family scholars have contrasted a capstone approach to marriage with a cornerstone approach.2 This is in reference to an arch where the cornerstone is what makes up the base of the arch, and the capstone is the piece that is added to decorate or finish off the arch. Or in a wall model, the cornerstone is the very bottom piece, and the capstone is the very top piece. Using the capstone model as a backdrop, marriage is seen as the final crowning achievement that comes after other milestones are reached (career stability, complete financial independence, etc.) In opposition, the cornerstone model views marriage as foundational, upon which those goals can be built together. While the capstone view has become more culturally accepted in recent decades, research suggests it may not be the best path to long-term relationship happiness and success. Hawkins and colleagues show that the age range with the best odds of positive marital outcomes isn’t necessarily the oldest or most financially “ready.” Instead, many couples who embrace marriage earlier, in the cornerstone sense, build a relationship of resilience and teamwork as they pursue financial and life goals.2 Thus, couples should not be worried about having “everything” figured out going into a marriage.
Takeaways
1) Focus on building assets and gaining financial independence, not just worrying about costs. Instead of dwelling on economic barriers to marriage, put energy into small, consistent steps to grow savings and assets. Try Investopedia for habits that could help build financial independence.3
2) Separate beliefs from behaviors. Recognize that concerns about affording marriage will not automatically change or improve financial habits.1 Try creating intentional plans for both debt management and asset growth.
3) Try reframing financial stress to motivate. Use concerns about marriage barriers as a springboard to motivate setting realistic and attainable financial goals, rather than letting stress stall progress.
4) Consider a cornerstone mindset. Instead of waiting until every milestone is achieved, actively recognize that marriage itself can be a context for growth. Building a life together means working through challenges (including finances) side by side, and research shows that equal partnership, not perfect timing, is what strengthens marriages into the future.2
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1Saxey, M. T., LeBaron-Black, A. B., Willoughby, B. J., & Yorgason, J. B. (2025). Do financial barrier beliefs predict building wealth? Latent growth curves of emerging adults’ financial barrier beliefs, assets, and debt. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 46, 331–343. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-024-09955-x
2Hawkins, A. J., Wilcox, B., Carroll, J. S., Wright Jones, A. M., & James, S. L. (2022). State of Our Unions 2022: Capstone vs. Cornerstone marriage analyses. National Marriage Project / Wheatley Institution / BYU School of Family Life. https://wheatley.byu.edu/00000189-c28a-d1b1-a1eb-f69bb8300000/capstone-vs-cornerstone-report
3Danielsson, M. (2022, September 23). How to reach financial freedom: 12 habits to get you there. Investopedia. https://www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/112015/these-10-habits-will-help-you-reach-financial-freedom.asp